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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 552 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Mar 6, 2013 11:30pm PST
definitely don't. [laughter] luckily conservative stalwart and justice-the-hutt antonin scalia knows that the courts have to decide this, because even though racism is over, america's elected representatives lack the bicameral ball sack to vote against this thing. >> i am fairly confident it will be reenacted in perpetuity unless-- unless a court can say it does not comport with the constitution. it's-- it's a concern that this is not the kind of a question you can leave to congress. even the name of it is wonderful: the voting rights act. who is going to vote against that in the future? >> stephen: yes, you'd have to be an a-hole to vote against that in the future! luckily, we've got an a-hole who will vote against it in the present. [laughter] the point is, the voting rights [cheers and applause] -- the voting rights act is obsolete it's like an old restraining order. these states are just saying, "yes, i used to beat my girlfriend, but i haven't since the restraining order. so we don't need it anymore!" [laughter] [cheers and applause] here to celebrate this milestone in equality
Comedy Central
Mar 18, 2013 11:30pm PDT
! [laughter] is that suddenly okay?! [cheers and applause] luckily for guys like phil and me, there may soon be a new community where high earners are safe. and it's in the last place you'd think: detroit. sure, we all know the motor city has seen better days. like say, during the ice age. [laughter] but it's not all bad. take belle isle, a thousand-acre island and public park that many consider the jewel of detroit. it's no surprise, "belle" means "beautiful," and "isle" means "not connected to detroit." [laughter] [laughter] and now -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] and now, it's about to get better, thanks to libertarian real estate developer and doubly-named porn star rod lockwood who plans to buy the island from detroit and convert it into an independent commonwealth "founded on the principles of limited government, where residents would not pay any corporate or income taxes." finally, a consequence-free paradise for rich americans, other than the rest of america. [laughter] this haven for the wealthy is the realization of a dream from lockwood's self-published novel, also called "bel
Comedy Central
Feb 28, 2013 7:30pm PST
(bleep) lard ass actually said. luckily -- [cheers and applause] luckily no matter how messy italy's politics get italians find stability in their faith. >> tens of thousands of the faithful filling st. peter's square to hear the pope who leaves office tomorrow. there's a period where there's no pope and that starts precisely at 8:01 tomorrow night. >> jon: it's chaos! (bleep) cap with condoms. it brings us to our reoccurring -- [cheers and applause] our recovering segment we may have trouble separating church and state but at least we still have both. pope benedict made his last appearance this morning. what does the future hold for him? can't set him up as an expope and wal-mart greeter. that's not going to -- in nomine patris et fili, gatorade at aisle 8. [ laughter ] does the go to the italian vat ran retirement home. >> at the end of month he has to many of out of apostolic palace. today the vatican revealed his retirement home is just behind st. peter's. >> jon: that's comfortable. you know he's unexpectedly stopping by checking on the new pope. oh, really is that where you are holding
NBC
Mar 14, 2013 4:00am PDT
the dog off. the girl luckily got away with a nasty scare with minor puncture wounds to her arm and leg. >>> a california daycare worker child endangerment charges after she allegedly spiked sippy cups with sleep medicine. she has since been fired and the cups were confiscated before any kids had a chance to take a drink. >>> a michigan middle schooler shocked teachers and classmates when she showed up packing $20,000 cash in her backpack. police were alerted after the 12-year-old girl began handing out hundreds to her classmates. the little robin hood claims she received the money from a neighbor and all the cash has since been recovered. wow. >>> spring break partiers down in florida had a rude awakening when local police broke up their fun. while some tried to argue, most took their punishment in stride. they were handcuffed and shackled these teens giggled their way to county lockup. >>> an alarming number of stranded sea lion pups in southern california have many marine biologists concerned. hungry, sick and malnourished sea lion pups are turning up left and right, so much so that
NBC
Mar 26, 2013 5:00pm PDT
's accused of putting an over the counter sleep medicine into the cups of the children. the cups were luckily taken away before the children drank. a couple families say they were suspicious even before the arrest. >> every night throwing up. grandma, i throw up. what 1 1/2-year-old do you know that does that? she hasn't been sick since then. so how has she been getting her this medication? >> she's charged with five misdemeanor counts, each of attempted child endangerment. >>> another glass shattered ceiling. a woman will lead the secret service for the first time in the nation's history. jouulia pearson was named as th agency's director. she's currently the agency's chief of staff. >>> still ahead at 5:00, carrying around extra weight? the breath test that could explain why. >>> and you may forget the day, but you won't forget the dress. we go inside a south bay nonprofit helping give away hundreds of prom dresses in a single day. >>> and good afternoon. warmer day a lot of sunshine, temperatures in the low 70s. we'll have details when showers return in the seven-day forecast coming right u
FOX
Mar 3, 2013 5:00am PST
things for yourself, that's what i did. luckily i had an unbelievable sister. luckily i had an unbelievable support staff along the way to help me break that generational courage. >> is that what made you not be a statistic? >> my sister was the first one that god put in my life that teq!qitájjuz take you here.ne your father's going to help tak. i had a lot of people grabbing my hand. i didn't do it alone. i understand that, i know that kids need somebody to believe in them. that's what i have. >> fast forward to me, you get married. obviously that didn't work out for forever. and you got to a point like your parents where with you are going to be divorced. you had an expectation despite the parents separating you, you were still co parenting and being a parent. >> that's what i've seen growing up. i was young when they divorced. no matter what was going on in their lives, when it came to me and my sister, they were the best of friends, they did whatever it took to have a relationship with both parents. i thought that was automatic. even though i came from this crazy upbrin
FOX
Mar 4, 2013 5:00am PST
. a six car bullet train also derailed, luckily nobody on the -- on the train was hurt. >>> 509 is the time, a new study concerned about the study of bay area bridges plus, they are demanding to know the truth about the ailing president, using go chavez. >>> coming off to the concord side, coming up to the bay area weather when the bay area news continues. to enjoy subway every day! the newest way subway. eat fresh. cuz all month long we're serving up the buffalo chicken $6 footlong special! big, bold buffalo footlong flavor for just $6! it's one of our march featured values: the newest way to enjoy subway every day! subway. eat fresh. good. no, not good. he's a vegetarian and he's going to be here in 20 minutes! [ mom ] don't stress. we can figure this out. ♪ [ male announcer ] get the speed to make a great first impression. call today to get u-verse high speed internet for as little as $14.95 a month for 12 months with a one-year price guarantee. this is delicious. ♪ [ male announcer ] save the day in an instant. at&t. ♪ . >>> welcome back to the ktvu channel 2 morning n
ABC
Mar 12, 2013 11:35pm PDT
you found out about the pregnancy? >> kim told me before that, luckily. >> jimmy: oh, good. >> and she tells me that she told me first, but she also told, like, everyone in my family. and would say "but nobody else knows." >> but i really did tell you first. >> no, wait, wait -- >> kanye, obviously i told him first. but i think mom i told first, first. >> what? >> jimmy: you were second first. you were third first. >> i'm sorry, you were first. i swear. >> but everyone that she told, she could tell kylie and be like nobody else knows, so don't tell a soul. then she told kendall. but nobody else knows. >> i told kendall on christmas eve. wait, she was last. >> jimmy: kendall was last? she'll be delighted to hear that. >> rob was last, last. kendall was last of the girls. >> jimmy: but rob doesn't care if he was last. >> for once, bruce wasn't last. >> jimmy: oh, bruce wasn't last. bruce wasn't last at the olympics when he won a gold medal for the united states, which you guys seem to keep forgetting about. [ applause ] is kanye excited about being a dad? >> he is so excited. it's really
NBC
Mar 19, 2013 4:00am PDT
-per-hour winds managed to blow a big rig trailer right off an overpass. luckily the driver wasn't injured when the truck rolled over the side of the bridge nearly bringing the cab down with it. >>> finally, california whale watching trip got exciting. the 45 to 50-foot whales dipped alongside a motor boat. they dipped and rolled by a much smaller motor boat. a tour guide said it was the greatest experience in all his years on the water. >>> turning now to sports the miami heat win their 23rd consecutive game. in boston the lebron james did the go ahead jump shot with 10.5 seconds going leading the heat to a come back win 105-103 over celtics. second longest winning streak in the nba history trailing 33. in overtime denver's andre iguadola gives them a lead. that was in the clothing seconds against chicago. it looks like they get a tip in, but the referees rule it goaltending. nuggets win 119-118. in the world of baseball classic the dominican republic takes the lead on a single to center scoring a run and reyes celebrated at first base. there were two more runs and beat the netherlands to adva
SFGTV2
Mar 7, 2013 7:30pm PST
sitting on the ledge, luckily we have a chance there to protect us from rocks going on the street. >> this is one type of rock salt and we will look at a few others. what will we see? >> i think it would be appropriate. we have been talking about rock salt. there is instability that occurs at telegraph hill. this was more in the earth flow and debris flow kind of movement. this moves downhill as a result of the rations from the earthquake. that is where we are headed next. >> here we are on the next stop of our landslide for parent though this is the lagoon ouna a area. this is different from where we all were just add on telegraph hill. this is a whole different concept. tell us what we have to. we have the big hill behind us, what kind of formations do we have? >> this part of san francisco, we are out in the dune sands which makes up the hill to my right. a crusty old drainage that we are standing is bedrock, 160 million year-old sandstone. the project right in the hillside over there and then farther down along the path that goes to the reservoir. >> there are rock slides, the
CBS
Mar 26, 2013 6:00am PDT
caused part of that roof to collapse and luckily everybody escaped safely and no injuries were reported. the investigation into the cause of that fire will continue. >>> tonight there will be another meeting in san francisco on a controversial idea to take away parking spaces on polk street. a meeting held last week was as you can see standing room only. they want to add bike lanes between market and mcalester. it would plan to remove 20 blocks of street parking and many business owners are worried it will hurt their businesses. >>> sal is covering quite a few things, sal? >> yes, i want to mention traffic is getting busier in the traditional commutes in the normal places, and let's look at highway 24, we do have traffic as you drive in some of the spots especially when you get to oh written do and here it is not that bad at the bay bridge toll plaza, we have a little bit of a back up on the approach and there is no major problems on the bridge. if you are driving northbound 680 -- northbound 680 in fremont, a crash at auto mall between union
CBS
Mar 28, 2013 6:00am PDT
the hospital and luckily she had non-life threatening injuries and is expected to be okay. police watched surveillance videos and the incident happened at 11:30 last night. witnesses say the driver was a white woman between 15 and 30 years old and they are urging her to come forward right now. >> honesty is the best policy always and trying take care of the matter is always the best approach. the longer you rate to take care of it -- the longer you wait, could potentially cause more charges for you down the road. >> now that vehicle was a four- door and the driver took off on this exit and they believe it happened on 167th so if you have any information regarding this hit-and-run you are urged to call chp in caster valley. >>> it happened just after 2:00 a.m. just before lake street. a young man veered his car off the road before flipping on his roof. the driver has minor injuries and all lanes are being made public today. investigators wanted to search the car and home he of the gunman. first he killed his mother and then 20, first grad
FOX
Mar 26, 2013 6:00am PDT
firefighters have been battling a fire since 2:30 a.m. a fire caused part of that roof to collapse and luckily everybody escaped safely and no injuries were reported. the investigation into the cause of that fire will continue. >>> tonight there will be another meeting in san francisco on a controversial idea to take away parking spaces on polk street. a meeting held last week was as you can see standing room only. they want to add bike lanes between market and mcalester. it would plan to remove 20 blocks of street parking and many business owners are worried it will hurt their businesses. >>> sal is covering quite a few things, sal? >> yes, i want to mention traffic is getting busier in the traditional commutes in the normal places, and let's look at highway 24, we do have traffic as you drive in some of the spots especially when you get to oh written do and here it is not that bad at the bay bridge toll plaza, we have a little bit of a back up on the approach and there is no major problems on the bridge. if you are driving northbound 680 -- northbound 680 in fremont, a crash at auto mall bet
FOX
Mar 28, 2013 6:00am PDT
in the hit-and- run. the victim was taken to the hospital and luckily she had non-life threatening injuries and is expected to be okay. police watched surveillance videos and the incident happened at 11:30 last night. witnesses say the driver was a white woman between 15 and 30 years old and they are urging her to come forward right now. >> honesty is the best policy always and trying take care of the matter is always the best approach. the longer you rate to take care of it -- the longer you wait, could potentially cause more charges for you down the road. >> now that vehicle was a four- door and the driver took off on this exit and they believe it happened on 167th so if you have any information regarding this hit-and-run you are urged to call chp in caster valley. >>> it happened just after 2:00 a.m. just before lake street. a young man veered his car off the road before flipping on his roof. the driver has minor injuries and all lanes are being made public today. investigators wanted to search the car and home he of the gunman. first he killed his mother and then 20, first grade student
CSPAN
Mar 24, 2013 5:00pm EDT
a couple miles. my five-ton truck broke down during our crossing the border into iraq. but luckily, my best friend and my roommate, laurie and firsting is at dowdy was there to pick me up. we also picked up two more soldiers on our way, the two soldiers that have from another unit, not in our same battalion or the same port that we came from. but they were there, they were the ones towing my truck across the border and during the ambush you know their truck ran out of gas so they had to jump in in the humvee that we were riding in. so the army is a big team and we were working together to complete our mission. then came the city of nasiriya. nasiriya was the day that we were ambushed. the day in the nasiriya was frightening, but our unit worked together to get out. it was a terrible day and 11 soldiers lost their life, including everyone in the humvee that i was riding in. seven of us were taken prisoner of war. in those nine long days as i lay in that iraqi hospital, not being able to move or feel anything below my waist, i never gave up. this was difficult because my injuries were severe.
MSNBC
Mar 6, 2013 4:00pm PST
quickly. >> luckily for us our marriages are really the relationship between two people. me and my wife, my queen. it has very little to do with anybody else luckily. let me go to you, brian. maybe it's logical in their point of view the way they're thinking of demographic change. but guns, immigration, and gays. is that what you look at when you look at the people organizing hate groups? >> i think it's a lot of it, but we have to put it into context. the folklore of the far right and i'm not talking about mitt romney supporters. i'm talking about people who have opted out of our political process. and that's what problematic. these people see the terra firma under them shifting as something that angered them before no longer see them as angering them. >> who do they root for? >> they don't root for anybody now. >> root for rand paul? pat buchanan? they must love ted cruz. come on. >> look. i think you hit a nerve. and what that is is there is now a part of mainstream politics which aligns with these kind of conspiracy theories and are getting away with what are traditional conservativ
CNN
Mar 16, 2013 10:30pm PDT
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CNN
Mar 17, 2013 1:30am PDT
. but he's not. ♪ he's an architect with two kids and a mortgage. luckily, he found someone who gave him a fresh perspective on his portfolio. and with some planning and effort, hopefully bob can retire at a more appropriate age. it's not rocket science. it's just common sense. from td ameritrade.
CNN
Mar 30, 2013 1:30pm PDT
chapter is hard on you and your wife. >> it caused me and my first wife to get a divorce. luckily, i have tremendous parents. >> reporter: now he's happily remarried. >> can you wash that pan out. >> reporter: communication was still a major challenge for him and his wife and his five girls. >> i could tell something would be bothering him sometimes. he wouldn't know how to express himself. >> i just didn't feel like i could offer anything to society. >> nice and strong through the core. >> reporter: just last year he found the share clinic, a comprehensive rehab program in atlanta. focusing on helping vets recovery from trauma dick brain injury. >> a lot of people have trouble with planning. you will see problems with emotion control. >> how do you describe the program? >> the one stop shop for everything. treating the different symptoms in a cohesive way. >> for vaughan, regaining independence was key. by living in the share provided housing. >> that's independence. >> he surprised himself by discovering a new hobby. >> what does this do for you physically and mentally? >> it gives you
Comedy Central
Mar 4, 2013 11:00pm PST
about the sequestration this weekend i needed some cheering up. luckily the sunday news shows provide much needed levity. mitt romney in his first interview since losing last november and dennis rodman in his first experience view visiting north korean leader kim jong u.n. two men trying to figure out what the hell just happened to they. to the comploamcy mobile, how did dennis rodman end up in north korea. >> if you are bonderring out there why kim jong u.n. -- jong un and rodman got together he was a big fan of bulls in the 80s. >> jon: that's y. i thought he was maybe a huge fan of double team and jean claude van damme. being a fan of the bulls is like a bottle of tequila how far the roster do you work to get down to the worm? you know what i'm saying? you know mj and pip yen -- pippen aren't going. they couldn't gut luy longly or dluc longley or kerr. let's go to romney. >> the weakness the campaign had, that i had, was we wrnlt effective to take the message to minority voters. that was a real weakness. >> jon: but rich white people seemed to like it enormously. remind me again go
Comedy Central
Mar 4, 2013 11:30pm PST
. [laughter] i'm supposed to listen to some scientist with a rachel haircut? [laughter] luckily, one man is out to prove, once and for all, that guns make us safer. kyle coplen, a graduate student at the university of houston is conducting an experiment which will definitively settle this debate. >> a social experiment ub like any other. giving away guns in high crime areas in an effort to reduce crimes. >> for about a month now coplen's been on a mission. >> we're looking at deterring crime by empowering citizens by offering up free 20-gauge shotguns. he says he wants to give away shotguns to test whether it helps reduce crime. >> stephen: the original plan was to give out batman costumes, [cheers and applause] but in texas, copyright laws are much stricter than gun laws. [laughter] now, some have questioned how coplen feels testing out his pro-gun theory so soon after the unimaginable tragedy of newtown. >> makes me feel great. i get up every morning with a pep in my step, giving out guns. living the dream. it's not like we're giving out cigarettes or alcohol, we're giving out guns. i
Comedy Central
Mar 7, 2013 11:00pm PST
this seriously. luckily, i had an lapd officer with me to set him straight. what we have here is a crime. if someone sees you commit the crime, you can get arrested and go to jail. and believe me, you don't wanna go to jail. - would drawing penises going into someone's hand be a segue to, you know, murder? - of course not. i don't think so. - never? - i'm not gonna say never. - so may--yes. so then yes. - if he choked on it, maybe. - kyle. show respect and apologize. - it's a good way to go. - all right, well, i did enjoy drawing penises next to your face, but i really do apologize. - no, i don't accept that. i don't accept an apology that starts like that. - [clears throat] i apologize for drawing a penis next to your face. - okay. - all right. - you're a good kid. you have a lot of potential. and to be honest, i see some of myself in you. but you just have to try to become more like me and less like you. - no, i disagree. i think he should more like himself-- - well, he shouldn't be like himself obviously. someone who draws penises. [overlapping comments] [engine sound passing by] capt
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 552 (some duplicates have been removed)